My Struggles Pt 2: Diagnosis

This period of my diagnosis was very confusing for me. I was given all sorts of questionnaires about myself and my feelings. I started being analyzed by psychiatrists. I didn’t know what was going on. I didn’t know why I had to do all this. I don’t even remember how long it went on for. But to me, it seemed like forever.

By the end of the diagnosis I was prescribed some medication. Because everyone’s body is different, and these medications are dosed according to brain chemical balance, rather than weight, I was started at a low dose, and this was gradually increased until the psychiatrist felt it was working to its best. Every time it went up it upset me. Over my life I have been on many different kinds of medications. Because I was growing up, I constantly had to be switched over to meds that were more age appropriate, and to help me more with the kind of experiences I would deal with at a certain age. The switch was always miserable for me. I have to be weaned off of one and then slowly increased into another. This is because you can go through a kind of withdrawal from immediate cease of medication, and each new medication had to be experimented to find the appropriate dose. This lasted over a period of about two months, each time. Being off of medication brought me back to a place where I was moody, and easily confused, frustrated, and anxious.